Elizabeth Verdick

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“You Write Books with … Messages?” originally appeared in Bookology Magazine. Copyright © 2020 by Winding Oak LLC. All rights reserved.

When I tell parents and teachers the title of my new children’s book, Worries Are Not Forever, they often say something like, “I need that immediately” or “Do you have one for adults too?” They laugh a little when they say that, but the underlying meaning is clear: We’re experiencing greater stress in our society, and this stress affects children of all ages—and their families.

The Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics notes that anxiety is rising among America’s young people. The study was based on data collected from the National Survey of Children’s Health for kids ages 6–17, with researchers noting a 20 percent increase in anxiety diagnoses between the years 2007 and 2012. Although the study focused on kids and teens, we know that young children experience stress and worry as well. Because they’re still so young, toddlers and preschoolers have a harder time putting their feelings into words. It’s up to us as adults to notice when young children show signs of stress.

So what can you do if you’re worried that your child is worried? With preschoolers, kindergartners, or elementary-age children, look for body language and behaviors that may signal stress:

• biting nails, chewing hair, sucking on shirt sleeves
• being tearful or clingy
• agitation, pacing, fidgeting, outbursts, aggression
• appearing tired, sleeping poorly at night
• inability to focus in class
• changes in appetite
• avoidance of school, social occasions, or everyday activities

With toddlers, watch for:

• increased tears and tantrums
• disruptions in sleep
• frequent stomachaches
• chewing hair or sucking on thumb
• signs of distress or an inability to enjoy being with family and friends

It’s normal for toddlers to experience moments of being clingy, not wanting to be separated from a parent, or new fears of everyday items—like loud vacuum cleaners, the dark, or the bathtub drain. The toddler years are filled with lots of change and growth . . . and tears. But you’ll sense when a young child’s behavior is more challenging than usual and could be a result of increased stress and worry. What can you do about it? Dig deeper into the situation. Be reassuring. Let young children know that everyone worries, even adults. It may feel like the worries won’t ever go away, but they will. Worries don’t last forever.

Young children (all children) rely on us to be their supporters and role models. Show them they can come to you for help.

Here are some ways you can be a helper:

• Talk about fears. Young children have difficulty explaining their emotions. Prompts can be helpful: “Tell me what you need.” “Did that loud noise surprise you?” “Do you feel a little shaky?” “Are you jumpy inside?” “I’m here to help.” Let your child know that you’re there for support. If your child is older, encourage him or her to draw the worries or write about them. Are worried thoughts about something that already happened or might happen? Encourage children to reframe worried thoughts, express difficult emotions, and think about what may help.
• Teach how to self-soothe. You can help your child manage fears and worries by first recognizing the physical symptoms that may accompany these feelings: racing heartbeat, butterflies in the stomach, sweating, tearfulness. Children can take deep breaths to feel calmer, seek a quiet space, talk it out, do a “self-hug” (wrapping arms around oneself and squeezing), get a drink of water, cuddle something soft, use fidgets to distract themselves, or move around to make worries “move away.”
• Keep them moving. Take a walk with your child, go outside to play, stretch, jump, dance, do yoga, pet an animal—any kind of movement can help the body and mind calm down. If you’re at a desk or table, offer activities to keep small hands busy: coloring, shaping clay, cutting with safety scissors, making a collage, sorting objects, playing with puppets. Children of all ages need daily exercise to stay healthy and strong. But during times of stress, motion is an especially helpful tool for handling the physical symptoms anxiety may produce.
• Use calming language. Children of all ages can use a refrain to feel more secure when worries take over. Keep it simple: “I am fine. I am calm. I am safe.” Practice these words during peaceful times, and then encourage their use when stress arises. There’s something else to think about: Your words matter. Children are listening—so think before you speak. Avoid phrases like these that may pop out when you’re frazzled and frustrated: “Stop worrying.” “Don’t be a baby.” “You’re such a worrywart.” “Cut it out.” “Tough it out.” “Calm down!”

And speaking of negative phrases, what do you usually tell yourself when you’re worried? Any chance that the words above are similar to the ones you hear in your own mind during stressful times? If so, it’s not a bad idea to change them into something more positive! Be there for yourself, just like you want to be there for your children.

I’m a firm believer in the power of words. (Guess that’s why I became a writer.) Our words can hurt or our words can help. When kids worry, give them language to change their situations and outlooks, and to help keep worries at bay.

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“Worries Are Not Forever: How to Recognize and Soothe Anxiety in Young Children” originally appeared at freespiritpublishingblog.com. Copyright © 2020 by Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved.

Do you know Veruca Salt? She’s the spoiled, impatient young girl from Roald Dahl’s children’s book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which was made into the classic Willy Wonka movie. Veruca is terribly demanding: “Hey, Mummy! . . . I’ve decided I want a squirrel. Get me one of those squirrels!” In the movie, she sings, “Don’t care how—I want it nowwwww!” If Veruca is denied, she shouts, stomps, and complains. The words delayed gratification aren’t in her vocabulary.

Waiting and being patient are learned skills. To avoid “Veruca moments” with your own children, teach them delayed gratification and model patience for them. Today, we’re raising kids in a world that’s faster, busier, and more technologically advanced than in the past. We’re all about instant gratification and having answers at our fingertips. Now we’ve got Google and Alexa and Siri—we don’t expect to wait.

Yet waiting is a fact of life. We stand in lines, sit in waiting rooms or in traffic, waiting, waiting, for our turn to go. Children have things to wait for too: the start or end of the school day, their favorite activities, a ride home, a meal . . . and for bigger aspirations like getting older and stronger and more independent. All this waiting—this anticipating—leads to mixed emotions: excitement, anxiety, frustration, longing, boredom, hope. While raising and teaching children, we can recognize what they may be feeling in these moments and find ways to help.

I’ve written a board book for toddlers and a more in-depth paperback for preK–3 about waiting because I think patience is a key skill in life, one that we’re always working on far into adulthood. As teachers or parents, we have to practice patience—it is practically in our job descriptions! It’s just a must. I believe that developing a sense of optimism helps, and so does using positive language with children. For example, you might teach children to use self-talk to ease the pain and brain-drain of waiting. Try the following phrases from Waiting Is Not Forever:

• “Waiting is not forever.”
• “I’m calm. I’m patient.”
• “I can chill a little longer.”
• “This will be worth the wait!”
• “I can wait a while with a smile.”

Visuals also can help children learn to wait. Try a combination of visual timers, countdown calendars, and interactive classroom calendars to share daily activities and special events. Tools like these allow children of all ages to develop routines, understand how time passes, and become a little more patient as they wait for what’s to come.

You can also include nonverbal signals when teaching patience. Consider how a child tries to get your attention when you’re talking—usually by interrupting you with questions and requests. You can agree on an unspoken signal you use to say “Wait, please,” whether it’s a raised pointer finger or a gentle arm squeeze.

When my daughter was in kindergarten, her teacher Wendy was a model of calm and patience. Wendy taught the children to get her attention by silently placing a hand on her shoulder when she was sitting at a desk or table. She’d smile, nod, and make eye contact with the waiting child, and without saying a word, Wendy had communicated that she’d soon be ready to answer a question or offer a helping hand.

I started using the same technique at home and found it especially handy when I was on the phone and my daughter had to wait until I was done. Wendy always said, “Thank you for waiting,” and I took up the same practice at home. As children learn patience, you can delay their wait a bit longer, giving a gentle squeeze or nod every few minutes to show that you haven’t forgotten the request.

We all know that waiting can be frustrating—especially when waiting itself is the only activity. It’s so boring to stand in a line, tapping your foot in annoyance and rolling your eyes at everyone. Instead, show children that you can keep your mind and hands occupied while you wait.

When possible, make waiting time interactive. This could mean playing a game like I Spy or 20 Questions, reading or drawing together, using a fidget toy to take the focus off waiting, or telling each other jokes and riddles. If waiting needs to be quiet time, bring along activity books, puzzles, and stickers. Model positive waiting behavior. Use a calm voice and a patient smile.

Avoid the trap of always using technological devices like video games, phones, or tablets as the expected distraction from waiting. Children can become reliant on screens and gadgets whenever they’re in a vehicle, waiting room, or line. (I’m not suggesting that screens are “bad” or that you should never use them. Just make sure they’re not the go-to in every “I’m bored” situation.)

Waiting is downtime, which can offer us the opportunity to talk, observe, and reflect. In other words, it’s okay to be bored—be bored together. Finding fun distractions and interactions can help pass the time.

As a writer, I try to tell myself, “Boredom is your friend.” When I’m bored, that’s a sign that I really should be using my imagination and writing words. I think of boredom as my call to action. (No shouting, stomping, or complaining, ha!) I try to use waiting time to stretch, sketch, noodle, doodle, and daydream.

In fact, I wrote the first draft of Waiting Is Not Forever during several long, rainy days at a cabin, waiting for a little sunshine. I had scratch paper, a pencil, an idea—and time on my hands. I learned that having to wait can be . . . great!

Reading is a fun way to pass the time while waiting. Try these boredom busters:

• I’m Bored by Michael Ian Black, illustrated by Debbie Ridpath Ohi
• The Boring Book by Shinsuke Yoshitake

Elizabeth Verdick has written children’s books for kids of all ages, from toddlers to teens. She has worked on many titles in the Laugh & Learn® series. Elizabeth loves helping kids through her work as a writer and an editor. She lives in Minnesota with her husband and their two (nearly grown) children, and she plays traffic cop for their many furry, four-footed friends

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“Too Much Whining While Waiting? Tips to Foster Patience in Children” originally appeared at freespiritpublishingblog.com. Copyright © 2020 by Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved.

Jimmy Fallon’s new song is helping Americans tune in to the importance of fighting viruses: “Wash your hands, wash your hands, do not touch your face.” He strums his guitar, crooning that if we follow these guidelines, “Then the world would be a better place.” He wrote the song for his young daughters and shared it with millions of followers, hoping that through humor a serious message will spread.

Fallon isn’t the only celebrity getting the word out about handwashing. A Gloria Gaynor TikTok focuses on the importance of washing hands for at least 20 seconds, as recommended by medical experts. The singer introduces a handwashing challenge, soaping up her hands while singing her famous song, “I Will Survive.” (It’s an alternative to the often-recommended “Birthday Song,” which we encourage young children to sing as they scrub because it’s one they already know.) Want another disco classic to wash your hands to? Teach your kids to hum or sing along to the chorus of “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees: “Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother / You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive / Feel the city breakin’ and everybody shakin’ / And we’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive / Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive / Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ aliiiiiiive!”

Many of us are scared or confused in the face of the coronavirus (COVID-19), but there are steps we can take to fight germs and stay healthy. Step one is washing our hands frequently throughout the day. A recent study by the US Department of Agriculture determined that people fail to correctly wash their hands 97 percent of the time. The most common mistake? Not washing hands long enough to kill germs. Here’s our chance to review proper handwashing techniques so we can help our kids do it right.

Follow these five steps from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention every time:

• Wet your hands with clean running water (warm or cold), turn off the tap, and apply soap.
• Lather your hands by rubbing them together with the soap. Lather the backs of your hands, between your fingers, and under your nails.
• Scrub your hands for at least 20 seconds. To time that out, children can sing the “Happy Birthday” song from beginning to end twice. (Or choose snippets from a favorite song, or simply count: “1-Mississippi, 2-Mississippi, 3-Mississippi, and so on.)
• Rinse your hands well under clean running water.
• Dry your hands using a clean towel or air dry them.

It’s easy for children to tune out our constant reminders to wash their hands or to take shortcuts during the process. You might want to do an experiment to give kids a visual learning tool. One preschool teacher’s idea for sharing a handwashing message is called “The Pepper Trick.” Amanda Lorenzo asks one student to dip a finger into a bowl filled with water that has been sprinkled with pepper. (The pepper is a representation of viruses.) The pepper floats, sticking to the fingertip and mimicking how germs and viruses attach to us. Lorenzo has a second bowl filled with soap. She asks the same student to dip that peppery finger into the soap. Viewers watch as the pepper slides off the student’s finger, repelled by the soap. Next, she asks the student to dip the soap-covered finger into the original pepper bowl. Here’s where the “magic” happens. The pepper swiftly moves away from the finger, as if being pushed. The teacher explains how viruses don’t like soap and can be washed away by it. You can share the experiment with your kids too.

As you practice social distancing, notice how your hands are busy all day long, touching so many different surfaces: dishes, railings, countertops, handles, the phone, computer keyboards, the remote control. Scientists are still researching how long the coronavirus can live on a hard surface, but on some surfaces it may live for 72 hours or longer. Often, we forget how many things we’ve touched, and then we rub our eyes, scratch our noses, or put our fingers in our mouths. Suddenly, we’ve introduced germs into an environment where they take hold and spread.

As you focus on more frequent handwashing, you may want to try the phrase “Germs are not for sharing” as a reminder. Check in to make sure family members wash up, especially before and after eating; after using the bathroom; after sneezing, coughing, or blowing their nose; and after touching a phone, computer, or tablet. Show children how to sneeze and cough into a tissue or their sleeve (not on each other or you). And keep surfaces clean by frequently wiping them down with germ-fighting cleansers or bleach.

I write this while working from home, with my kids here instead of at school. I feel grateful that people across America—and the world—are focused on trying to keep each other safe and healthy. I wish you all well in this time of great uncertainty. Sending good thoughts to each of you, from far away.

Free Coloring Page! Choose “scale to paper” in your print window.

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“This Is the Way We Wash Our Hands …” originally appeared at freespiritpublishingblog.com. Copyright © 2020 by Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved. 

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“This Is the Way We Wash Our Hands …” originally appeared at freespiritpublishingblog.com. Copyright © 2020 by Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved.

When you read to your baby, you’re not just bonding, you’re promoting language and social skills. It’s never too early to start a positive lifetime habit.

“In the first few weeks with my newborn at home, whatever I was reading, I would read aloud to my baby—novels, magazine articles, even emails. As she got older, I started adding in baby board books, and she seemed mesmerized by the pictures,” said new mother Sarah Fazio. “Now, at five months, we read a variety of children’s books, and I’m always surprised by how much it soothes her and holds her attention.”

It’s no surprise that babies are born ready to learn, and books can lead the way.

Born to Learn

Did you know that newborns can see in color? And that their eyes can track? Babies arrive ready to learn—and to be social. They love to observe, and they love the sound of your voice. No matter where you and your baby are—in a comfy chair, outside on a blanket, or on a bench in a busy mall—sharing a book together creates a private cocoon. Like feeding time or lullaby time, moments spent reading build deep connections between the two of you. From the very beginning, the more time you read with your baby, the more he will discover about himself and his world.

Babies Need Books

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) confirms that reading with babies is critical for their healthy development. When you share a book with your baby, you’re supporting the amazing process of development that links baby’s senses of hearing, sight, and touch to build and strengthen listening skills, eye gaze and tracking, and hand-eye coordination. Babies benefit both from hearing you read and from joining in to talk and point at the pictures.

Books of All Kinds

Choose books that are sturdy and safe for mouthing. (The 2008 Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act—CPSIA—requires testing and documentation of books and other goods for children under 12.) Soft fabric books and chunky board books are best for infants and young babies; for older babies and toddlers, picture books in paperback or hardcover are equally good.

Share a simple board book and baby sees colors, shapes, and faces. Read a nursery rhyme and she hears rhythm, sing-song, and the highs and lows of your voice inflection. Offer a touch-and-feel book and baby reaches out to interact. Open to a shiny “mirror” on the page and baby sees . . . herself!

“When we read board books, my daughter is very engaged with the pictures, reaching forward as I pause on each page and sometimes read it twice,” Fazio explained. “When we read longer stories, she responds to the cadence of my voice with raised eyebrows or drool.”

Newborns will become curious or calmed, depending on the inflections of your voice as you read. Older babies will gradually understand stories and want to hear them again and again. Talk together about the pictures and ask questions: “What do you think the kitty’s name is?” “Look at that red ball. What color is your ball?”

Start a Reading Routine

The first year of life is a perfect time to begin a reading habit that can open up the world to your baby and set the stage for a lifelong love of reading, listening, and sharing through words and pictures. It’s true that your infant may not understand the words you read or recognize many of the pictures he sees, but the sound of your voice is stimulating for him. It helps him learn to listen and also to associate books with you—the center of his world—and with fun!

Younger babies like to touch, shake, reach, grab, and mouth things, so they may first explore books by chewing or throwing them. Soon, though, they’ll want to look at, touch, and talk about all they see and hear while reading. By the time they reach their first birthday, babies look forward to reading with you and will find their favorite book and name the pictures. Erica Laroche understands this all too well. At fifteen-and-a-half months, her son Lucas had fallen in love with Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site and wanted to hear it again and again and again. Occasionally, he’d let Mom choose something else.

Screens Are Not for Babies

What about reading on smartphones, e-readers, and tablets? The AAP strongly recommends no screen time for children under 18 months old (although parents don’t need to feel guilty about having conversations over Facetime or Skype to connect baby with faraway friends and relatives). Babies are attracted to the screens, of course! But experts link those bright, colorful, flashing screens to language learning delays. Babies’ brains are developing quickly, and what they need most is human interaction—especially with parents and other family members. You’ll be giving your baby, and yourself, a big gift if you turn off and put away your electronics during reading time—or any time you’re playing and talking with your baby.

The Joy of Reading

The rewards of reading together just keep multiplying. “The benefits of books are endless,” said Sarah Fazio. “Reading together is just the first step on a long road of reading.” Another mom, Eva Widder, echoed this sentiment in regard to her nine-month-old daughter. “Reading with my daughter is such a special part of our routine,” she explained. “It’s especially sweet to see her respond to the books: studying pictures of other babies, laughing at the sounds and voices I use, and helping turn the pages. It’s fun to imagine reading together when she’s a toddler, a young child, and even a teenager.”

Note: Reading with your baby means interacting and sharing the pleasure of books; it doesn’t mean teaching your baby to read. In fact, a growing body of expert research recommends against efforts to teach reading skills to babies. In the March/April 2015 issue of Exchange magazine, Dr. Bisa Batten Lewis offered a thoughtful and thorough look at ways to support early language and literacy growth without “teaching” reading. Check out an excerpt of the article, or buy the complete article at the ChildCareExchange website.

Books to Share with Babies

All of Baby, Nose to Toes by Victoria Adler, illustrated by Hiroe Nakata

Baby’s Colors, Peek-a-Baby, Where Is Baby’s Yummy Tummy? (and many other books) written and illustrated by Karen Katz

Everywhere Babies by Susan Meyers, illustrated by Marla Frazee

Here’s a Little Poem: A Very First Book of Poetry compiled by Jane Yolen and Andrew Fusek Peters, illustrated by Polly Dunbar

How Do I Love You? by Marion Dane Bauer, illustrated by Caroline Jayne Church

Pat the Bunny by Dorothy Kunhardt

The Real Mother Goose, illustrated by Blanche Fisher Wright

Check out Parents.com for their list of “The Best Books Age by Age: Babies” and “Building Baby’s First Library: 25 Must-Have Books.”

Elizabeth Verdick has been writing books since 1997, the year her daughter was born. Her two children are the inspiration for nearly everything she writes. Before becoming an author, Elizabeth edited books for children and parents. These days she writes books for babies, toddlers, teens, and every age in between. She especially loves creating new board book series—including the Happy Healthy Baby^® series, which is designed to capture the interest of your littlest readers. Elizabeth’s Toddler Tools^® series helps young children and their parents cope with those tough times and transitions that happen every day (like naptime and bedtime). In the Best Behavior^® series, she helps toddlers reach new milestones and improve their day-to-day behavior. Elizabeth also enjoys getting the chance to look at the funny side of life in the Laugh and Learn^® series, which helps kids ages 8–13 get a handle on the social and emotional skills they’re developing throughout the elementary and middle school years. Elizabeth lives with her family and five pets near St. Paul, Minnesota.

Marjorie Lisovskis has been writing and editing books for children, teachers, and parents for more than 30 years and has a special interest in creating books that help young children see themselves as confident, capable, and loved. Along with the Happy Healthy Baby series, she is the coauthor (with Elizabeth Verdick) of How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger. Marjorie has two grown children and three grandchildren. She lives with her husband in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

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“Reading Together: Why Your Baby Needs Books” originally appeared at freespiritpublishingblog.com. Copyright © 2020 by Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved.

Hurray, it’s the holiday season!

Uh-oh, it’s also cold and flu season.

Parties, travel, and gatherings are all part of holiday fun, but time spent with others during cold and flu season means that you and your children are more likely to get sick. What are you supposed to do—hide out and avoid the crowds? Impossible. There are ways to reduce the risk of getting viruses, though. It all starts with the hands.

Your hands are busy all day long, and they touch so many different surfaces: railings, countertops, handles, money, credit cards, computer keyboards, the steering wheel, the remote control. Did you know that flu viruses can survive on a hard surface for up to 24 hours? As a parent, you probably spend part of your day changing diapers, helping your child in the bathroom, wiping noses, or cleaning up spills and messy faces too. In other words, your hands are in constant contact with a variety of germs through touch. If you then put a finger in your mouth, nose, or eye, you’ve introduced germs into an environment where they take hold and spread.

To reduce your exposure to viruses and bacteria, wash your hands often—the right way. A recent study by the US Department of Agriculture determined that people fail to correctly wash their hands 97 percent of the time. The most common mistake? Not washing hands long enough to kill germs. Looks like many adults need a review on handwashing so we can help our kids do it right! The following CDC guidelines for handwashing can help.

Follow these five steps every time:

• Wet your hands with clean running water (warm or cold), turn off the tap, and apply soap.
• Lather your hands by rubbing them together with the soap. Lather the backs of your hands, between your fingers, and under your nails.
• Scrub your hands for at least 20 seconds. Need a timer? Hum the “Happy Birthday” song from beginning to end twice.
• Rinse your hands well under clean running water.
• Dry your hands using a clean towel or air dry them.
  (From the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)

Practice these handwashing techniques with your children as early as the toddler years. You may want to teach the phrase “Germs are not for sharing” as a reminder. As your children get older, check in to make sure they’ve remembered to follow the handwashing steps, especially before and after eating; after using the bathroom; after sneezing, coughing, or blowing their nose; and after touching a phone, computer, or tablet.

Despite all your preventive measures and good intentions, your child still may get sick with a cold or the flu. If possible, keep a child who is ill confined to a specific area of your home to avoid spreading the illness to others. Show children how to sneeze and cough into a tissue or their sleeve (not on each other or you). Keep surfaces clean by frequently wiping them down with cleansers or bleach.

Sick time isn’t any fun, but you can help your child pass the hours by doing quiet holiday-related activities—reading winter-themed stories, making cards for loved ones, wrapping presents, and watching holiday movies. And don’t forget: If you’re the one who’s sick, stay home. You may have many tasks and people to take care of during the season, but you need time for yourself too.

Here’s to staying healthy and enjoying the holidays with loved ones . . . cheers!

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“Invite Guests—Not Germs—to Your Home During the Holidays” originally appeared at freespiritpublishingblog.com. Copyright © 2020 by Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved.

By Elizabeth Verdick and Marieka Heinlen, author and illustrator of the Best Behavior^® series

Storytelling is at the heart of being human—and it starts at birth. We share stories as we talk to our babies, sing to them, and read to them. They grow rich in stories, and once children are verbal, they are eager to share their own tales, eventually writing and drawing them on paper. Storytelling helps children better understand the world, develop empathy, and grow up with greater knowledge and confidence. As an author/illustrator team, we’re grateful that storytelling—via words and art—is our daily work, our way to reach out to readers all over the world. Together, we aim to make books that serve as “mirrors and windows,” helping children build their own social and emotional identities while offering views into other children’s feelings and experiences. We think it’s the best job in the world!

Over the years, parents and teachers have asked us, “How do you make the books? How do you work together?” We’re glad you’ve asked! We thought it would be fun to share the story of how we collaborate.

Elizabeth: Most of the books I’ve published are nonfiction with a focus on children’s social and emotional needs. You might know of the two series that Marieka Heinlen and I work on together: Best Behavior^® and Toddler Tools^®. Our main audience is toddlers, but many of our books have been adapted into lengthier versions for preK to grade 3. I love collaborating on these books, but I also write children’s fiction and have learned that most often authors and illustrators work separately—never even meeting! The book’s editor is the go-between, and if an author is lucky, she will get to see some preliminary sketches. But that’s it until the full-color illustrations are placed with the text. At that point, the author finally sees how the words and images work together. There’s so much that goes on behind the scenes: laying out the narrative, determining the story’s climax, creating character consistency on the page, identifying the color palette, choosing fonts, and completing page designs—all of which will be a surprise for the author. (Talk about suspense!) From the author’s perspective, it can feel like you’re waiting so long that spider webs could cover you by the time it’s all finished. Then—years after signing a book contract—you get a present in the mail: your completed book.

My work with Marieka is . . . a whole different story. Our bookmaking process in educational publishing doesn’t have so many surprises because Marieka and I are involved in almost every stage of a book’s development. Together, we figure out how the words will fit on each page and how the images will complement the text. We brainstorm ideas for book covers, we talk about scenes that will best show a diverse community of children and adults, and we use our knowledge of all the previous books in our series to make sure we keep the material fresh but also compatible with earlier works. The best thing about collaborating on new projects with Marieka is that we’ve known each other for more than two decades, and we both live in the Twin Cities—that face-to-face contact and history helps keep our creativity flowing. We’re both moms, we both love kids, and we both feel lucky to have the opportunity to use positive language and images to help our readers handle the social and emotional ups and downs of growing up. It’s hard work—but mostly it’s fun, fulfilling work.

We can’t wait to get started on new projects, and we love when our readers send us ideas. Every week, I get emails from parents telling me about the challenges they face raising their kids: My child won’t stop sucking her thumb! My toddler insists on dressing himself without any help and has a tantrum when I even try to get his pants on. Can you write a book about not spitting? My own children are well past toddlerhood, but they have always inspired my creative work and storytelling. These days, I have lots of young nephews who keep inspiring me with their busy, curious, hilarious, and challenging antics. I write nonfiction and fiction with them in mind. Storytelling is my way of connecting with them from far away.

Marieka: Elizabeth’s and my books are teaching books. Children learn visually from the very beginning: Where am I? Who is taking care of me? Where do I get food? When do I go to sleep? When we teach toddlers, it is so important to combine the visuals with words. When I first started illustrating the Best Behavior series, I instinctively drew dark lines and used saturated colors to capture the attention of busy little readers. It was always important to portray every kind of child I could imagine, so our readers could find themselves in each book. I also researched environments, from urban or rural settings to child care centers and homes, since we wanted each child to see familiar surroundings. All the Best Behavior books present a common challenge or milestone for children; the Toddler Tools series, on the other hand, focuses on daily routines and transitions that young children must learn to help organize their world. Elizabeth creates text young children can relate to, and I work to make art they can identify with. I like to think that between the words you read and the art you see, you get a full understanding of each social-emotional topic through a child’s eyes.

Elizabeth and I met working at Free Spirit Publishing, where I was a designer and Elizabeth an editor. We had been writing and illustrating for years and were enthusiastic about broadening our skill sets. Our ideas flowed easily out of a common language we had learned from working closely together on other books and marketing materials. When we started collaborating as storytellers long ago, we would look at Elizabeth’s text together and come up with ideas about how to show the reader what was happening. Book after book, our process became more streamlined: Elizabeth knew my style and I understood how to make her words come alive in scenes without too much back-and-forth.

As an author-illustrator team, we were creating a world together, one that all children could find themselves in. Elizabeth imagined scenarios where children learned life lessons, and she described feelings and actions in simple, clear messages. Her words were pared down to just what a young child could grasp about emotional growth while still being fun to read, with a singsong cadence and easy flow. I took her words and created bright and bold pages, bursting with diversity and expression. I worked hard to represent all kinds of people, homes, neighborhoods, and educational settings. Whenever possible, Elizabeth made sure I got lots of animals and pets in there too!

We are very lucky: There is a never-ending bounty of social-emotional skills to teach children through our books. We hope to keep telling stories for years to come.

Elizabeth Verdick has written children’s books for kids of all ages, from toddlers to teens. She has worked on many titles in the Laugh & Learn^® series. Elizabeth loves helping kids through her work as a writer and an editor. She lives in Minnesota with her husband and their two (nearly grown) children, and she plays traffic cop for their many furry, four-footed friends.

 

Marieka Heinlen received her BFA at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, and also studied at Central Saint Martins College of Art and Design in London. She launched her career as an award-winning children’s book illustrator with Hands Are Not for Hitting and has illustrated all the books in the Best Behavior and Toddler Tools series. Marieka focuses her work on books and other materials for children, teens, parents, and teachers. She lives in St. Paul, Minnesota, with her husband, son, and daughter.

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“Free Spirit Storytellers on Their Best Behavior” originally appeared at freespiritpublishingblog.com. Copyright © 2020 by Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved.

Experts say kids are more stressed today than ever before. That’s no surprise.

We see the fast-paced, competitive, tech-savvy world they’re growing up in. We’ve heard the stories about kids getting bullied, struggling academically, being exposed to violence at home or school, dealing with economic uncertainty, and worrying about the environment or conflicts in their communities and country. That’s a lot to carry on small shoulders. There’s a lot at stake too. According to Bruce Compas, professor of psychology at Vanderbilt University’s Peabody College of Education and Human Development and lead author of a 2017 study published in Psychological Bulletin:

Chronic stress is bad for adults, but it is particularly troublesome for children, because among many other effects, it can disrupt still-developing white matter in the brain, causing long-term problems with complex thinking and memory skills, attention, learning, and behavior.

The effects of stress go deep and lead to problems at school—ones that may go on for years. Parents often don’t realize the lasting effects stress has on kids. In fact, according to a past American Psychological Association (APA) survey, “Stress in America,” parents frequently underestimate what their children are truly feeling. This isn’t due to a lack of concern—more likely it is due to a lack of communication. It isn’t easy to talk about stress, though. Kids may shut down or tune out instead of reaching out. However, we can make it easier to open the lines of communication.

Here are five ways to get kids talking about . . . and coping with stress.

1. Point out the physical signs. Did you know that stress in kids often stays hidden because its symptoms are physical? For example, a child may frequently stay home from school or leave the classroom due to headaches or stomachaches—and everyone assumes the child is getting sick. Physical stress symptoms also include difficulty sleeping, restlessness, lack of appetite, or bed-wetting. Let kids in your care know that stress can be a full-body experience:
   • aching head
   • dry mouth
   • heart palpitations
   • stomach “butterflies”
   • sweating under the arms and of hands and feet
   • muscle tension
   • that feeling of “I want to crawl out of my skin”
2. Develop a feelings vocabulary. Younger children may not have a wide vocabulary for describing their emotions—yet. But they’ll get there with your help. Introduce them to words that express a wide variety of stress-related emotions. Encourage them to be specific about how they’re feeling—and then to share that with someone they trust, like a parent or relative. This helps start the conversation that many families need to have.
3. Acknowledge that stress isn’t all bad. Sometimes, a little stress is the jump start we need to complete a task or reach a goal. Knowing that homework is due is a motivator. Feeling pumped up about an upcoming game can help an athlete concentrate and succeed. This type of “normal”—temporary—stress gives someone an edge. You can explain the “fight, flight, or freeze” response that’s built into our systems as a way to protect ourselves from danger or handle risks. Our bodies, whether we’re young or old, respond to stressors through wanting to fight off danger, flee from it, or freeze and hide. When someone feels that urge to fight, run, or hide, he or she can use strategies to calm down and think through what to do. Encourage children under stress to breathe deeply, take a moment to think, talk themselves down, and—if needed—ask for help. Here’s where that feelings vocabulary can come in handy: “I’m mixed up and wound up. Can you help?” “I’m queasy and uneasy. What can I do?”
4. Talk about schedules. Many kids today live quite structured lives—going from school to organized sports to lessons—with less free time to explore the outdoors or sit back and daydream. Often, a child’s downtime is spent on a screen: playing electronic games, using social media, or watching videos online. This isn’t true for all kids in all families, but people are noticing the changes that tight schedules and technology may bring. You could find out if a child’s anxious feelings are linked to having too much to do or, possibly, to “techno-stress.” Kids who are overloaded may wish to reduce their extracurricular activities for a while to see if spending more time with family and having more free time helps. A crucial tool for families is to have a “media plan” in place so each family member is held accountable for how much time is spent online, in front of the TV, and on a phone or tablet. Keep this plan positive. Families can have fun using screens together! This media plan can be a good start. (And less time with screens means more time with each other—talking.)
5. Help kids connect. Children spend a big part of every day at school, a place where they may feel stressed and disconnected. As a teacher, you can better teach and reach kids if they trust and feel connected to you. Greet them at the door each day—making eye contact, smiling, saying hello, and even building connections through handshakes, high fives, or fist bumps. Show an interest in your students’ cultures, lives, and families. Journal prompts with responses are a good way to get to know kids better—and to let them know more about you. You can also help kids connect with each other through team-building activities and noncompetitive games. Children who feel welcomed and connected and who have a sense of belonging are less stressed. They sense that support will be there when they need it, and this makes them more likely to talk about what’s bothering them and work with you and their parents to find solutions.

Stress may be a pain in the brain, but there’s good news. Bruce Compas puts it this way: “[T]he brain is malleable. Once positive coping skills are learned and put into practice, especially as a family, they can be used to manage stress for a lifetime.” A lifetime. Stress-busting skills learned as a child can be used all the way into adulthood, building stronger families and brighter futures—with a little help from you.

Cited:
Compas, B. E., et al. “Coping, Emotion Regulation, and Psychopathology in Childhood and Adolescence: A Meta-Analysis and Narrative Review.” Psychological Bulletin, 143, no. 9 (Sept. 2017): 939–991.

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“5 Stress Management Strategies for Kids” originally appeared at freespiritpublishingblog.com. Copyright © 2020 by Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved.